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I think that you'll find that there is a lot of activity on the ros-users mailing list in regards to general ROS discussion, as Benjamin Johnston mentions in his answer.
In addition to that, there are many groups formed around various elements of the ROS project, such as device drivers, motion planning, infrastructure, etc. I think that the best way to get involved with these is to start with the ROS special interest groups (http://ros.org/wiki/groovy/Planning/) These groups are currently planning the direction of the ROS platform in the future, and many have their own mailing lists or communication mechanisms. In the past, there have been meetings via IRC, e-mail, Google Hangout, and at ROSCon 2012.
Additionally, you can participate in API reviews, such as the unique_identifier review that just concluded.
As for answers.ros, it's just a matter of questions coming in faster than people can answer them. I try to answer a few questions a day (and I know a few people try to do the same), but the volume of questions is overwhelming (often duplicates or poorly formed questions). The best way to fix this is to have people adhere the support guidelines better, and try not to ask so many duplicate questions.